Ran across this before bed. Had to share.
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Americans must come together and give government the tools and funding needed to end the menace of (BLANK). The Special Commission for the Study of (BLANK) made up of former government officials working at a prestigious Washington think tank recently issued a report that reveals the true danger of (BLANK). The report clearly states that if government does not act now to deal with (BLANK), millions of Americans who work hard and play by the rules will suffer needlessly and our way of life will be put into jeopardy.
The Special Commission's report calls for a war on (BLANK) and provides a blueprint to deal with eliminating the threats posed by (BLANK). The report recommends that the President should immediately appoint a task force to form a network with various local, state, and federal law enforcement agencies, federal intelligence agencies, and the Pentagon in order to mount a well organized attack on (BLANK).
The Special Commission suggests forming an international coalition with friends and allies abroad who share our concern over the (BLANK) menace. Of course, the war on (BLANK) must be fought most vigorously on American soil. This means giving authorities special powers to deal with the elusive and dangerous people involved with (BLANK). The Commission's report suggests specific legislation needed to give the government the powers to deal with (BLANK).
Freedoms that Americans have become used to will have to be temporarily curtailed in order for government to mount an effective campaign to eradict the threat of (BLANK). The government must have the ability to identify and target anyone who is involed in any manner with (BLANK).
This may mean that Americans will have to give up some of their privacy until the war on (BLANK) is won. The war on (BLANK) requires authorities to be able to conduct random searches, monitor financial transactions, monitor communications, detain suspects, and interrogate detainees.
Americans must also be informed of the financial costs of the war on (BLANK). Fighting the gathering dangers of (BLANK) will not come cheap. But, no cost is too great to prevent the destruction of the American way of life.
Experts predict that it may take many years to win the war on (BLANK) and it may cost hundreds of billions of dollars to eliminate the threat (BLANK) poses to America. The Commission's report suggests that the war on (BLANK) can be financed through borrowing in order to protect Americans from costly tax increases. The report notes that most Americans have been supportive of deficit spending for other wars.
Americans working together and supporting the war on (BLANK) will ensure that the war on (BLANK) will be won. There can be no question that if the blueprint outlined in the report issued by the Special Commission for the Study of (BLANK) is followed, we will win the war on (BLANK) and guarantee future generations the same security and freedom that we all cherish.
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Ok, I'll bite. Here goes.
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Americans must come together and give government the tools and funding needed to end the menace of (Politicians). The Special Commission for the Study of (Politicians) made up of former government officials (LOL!) working at a prestigious Washington think tank recently issued a report that reveals the true danger of (Politicians). The report clearly states that if government does not act now to deal with (Politicians)(again, LOL!), millions of Americans who work hard and play by the rules will suffer needlessly and our way of life will be put into jeopardy.
The Special Commission's report calls for a war on (Politicians) and provides a blueprint to deal with eliminating the threats posed by (Politicians). The report recommends that the President should immediately appoint a task force to form a network with various local, state, and federal law enforcement agencies, federal intelligence agencies, and the Pentagon in order to mount a well organized attack on (Politicians)(My sides... oh, my sides!).
The Special Commission suggests forming an international coalition with friends and allies abroad who share our concern over the (Politician) menace. Of course, the war on (Politicians) must be fought most vigorously on American soil. This means giving authorities special powers to deal with the elusive and dangerous people involved with (Politicians)(Lobbyists, anyone?). The Commission's report suggests specific legislation needed to give the government the powers to deal with (Politicians).
Freedoms that Americans have become used to will have to be temporarily curtailed in order for government to mount an effective campaign to eradicate the threat of (Politicians). The government must have the ability to identify and target anyone who is involved in any manner with (Politicians).
This may mean that Americans will have to give up some of their privacy until the war on (Politicians) is won. The war on (Politicians) requires authorities to be able to conduct random searches, monitor financial transactions, monitor communications, detain suspects, and interrogate detainees.
Americans must also be informed of the financial costs of the war on (Politicians). Fighting the gathering dangers of (Politicians) will not come cheap. But, no cost is too great to prevent the destruction of the American way of life.
Experts predict that it may take many years to win the war on (Politicians) and it may cost hundreds of billions of dollars to eliminate the threat (Politicians) pose to America. The Commission's report suggests that the war on (Politicians) can be financed through borrowing in order to protect Americans from costly tax increases. The report notes that most Americans have been supportive of deficit spending for other wars.
Americans working together and supporting the war on (Politicians) will ensure that the war on (Politicians) will be won. There can be no question that if the blueprint outlined in the report issued by the Special Commission for the Study of (Politicians) is followed, we will win the war on (Politicians) and guarantee future generations the same security and freedom that we all cherish.
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Well, we can only hope. All in good fun, to be sure. Feel free to copy-paste-pass it on.
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